I have been having this dream lately. There are these paintings waiting to be painted, and they are going through my mind, frame by frame on a cinema scope film. There are a lot of paintings waiting to be painted, maybe as many as 50, and I can't quite see them, can't quite grasp them, all except for this one.
Don't be fooled that this is just a few X's on the paper. I had to place each one just so, with the right amount of density, the right size, the right tone, the right amount of paint, the right amount of layers. I have just counted them, and there are 24 X's. I didn't know that I had to paint that many, until just then. But I knew when I was painting them, exactly when to stop. The red tick had to be placed right in that exact spot, with the exact amount of paint and the exact size. This painting took me an hour to paint. It is around 5"x7" acrylic on arches paper.
I don't feel liberated, but I know I had to paint that painting, and now I can move on to the next one, when it makes itself clear to me.
I think I am loosing it. Hey?
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